P.72 This wonder of technology radiated such overwhelming optimism that
for all who came to admire it, death must have seemed an archaic part of
the old order, a primordial failing from which humankind would escape as
soon as it achieved its desire for modernity and a permanent trust in
technology. Whatever was coming was bound to be good, because it would
yield to the control of sterilized, shining instruments, appliances and
utensils. These would be reparable, and this virtully immortal.
P.110 For a split second Mieczysław notices an incredible phenomenon — the
light of magnesium bounces off the spruce trees and firs and returns to
them, briefly coating their bodies in ash; it is as if in this split
second he has glimpsed beneath the jackets and pullovers not just their
bare white skin, but also their bones, the shape of their skeletons; it
feels as if they are standing on a stage, as if this is the overture to an
opera, and the spectators in this theatre are the trees, blueberry bushes,
moss-coated stones and some fluid, ill-defined presence that is moving
like streams of warmer air among the mighty trunks, boughs and branches.
P.131 He had noticed that when one participates intensively in life, one
has no time for thinking or examining everything precisely, if only in
one’s imagination.
P.132 — they are wisps of sensations carried by time like gossamer, moved
by the wind, trails if tiny reactions that arrange themselves into random
sequences eager for meaning. But their nature is volatile and impermanent,
they appear and disappear, leaving behind an impression that something
really did happen and that we took part in it. And that what we are stuck
inside is stable and certain. That it exists.
P.134 The horrible sight of the dark-red, almost brown blood congealing on
the stump forced him into painful ambivalence — to feel afraid, while also
feeling a strange, indescribable fascination close to pleasure, far
mightier than picking scabs off his knees, or teasing an already wobbly
milk tooth. His chest was racked by sorrow that could not change into
weeping or relief of any kind, but just went on pushing from the inside,
paralysing his lungs.
P.185 Why was our Mieczysław so afraid of them? Did he fear that they
would peel away his carefully constructed image of a person who is on good
terms with himself, who feels all right about himself and is sure of fits
own opinions? That they would take him back to Lwów, to face all those
prosecutors — at school, in the street, in doctors’ consulting rooms, in
his own home? All those physicians who tsk-tsked over him with such
concern? That they would drag him into those low, hot kitchens where
szernia was constantly being made? Into the cellars where toads sat on
poles of potatoes sprouting in the darkness, and his uncle’ss boys could
be seen through the windows — rapping away, one, two, at a marching step,
while his hand squeezed little Mieczyś’s shoulder?
He preferred to belong to this world, which did not yet know him and in
whose eyes he still has time to define himself. He would rather take the
risk that one day this world too would disappoint him, and he would have
to run away again, escape to yet another, more distant location to avoid
falling into the arms of that familiar, hopeless state in which one was
simply a bother to oneself and others. By this point he has just about
adopted the idea that his illness had come upon him at a very good moment
in his young life, giving him a chance to reformulate himself, and that he
should actually be happy to have ended up here, in this little Silesian
health resort, built on the waters of an underground lake.
P.296 ‘This protects us from reality, which is built up of a multitude of
very subtle shades. If anyone thinks the world is a set of stark
opposites, he is sick. … This vision maintains in us a peculiar
irresolution, and does not let any dogma take shape. You treat us to a
land “in-between”, which we’d rather not think about, having quite enough
of our own black-and-white problems. You show us that it is greater than
we thought, and that it affects us too. … I think you’ll be home for
Christmas.’
P.309 Here we are, slightly changed, but just the same as before, warm but
also cold, both seeing and blind.
P.311 Our eyes penetrate deep inside. We can see the skeleton, the beating
heart, the peristalsis of the intestines, the oesophagus working away as
it endeavours to push down the saliva that has gathered out of fear. We
can see the tongue, arranging itself to utter some word. The diaphragm
rises and falls, drops of urine flow from the kidneys to the bladder. The
uterus clenches like a fist, but the member swells with blood.